in this modern world, it is trendy to be brave, decisive, popular, have a lot of friends, and feel comfortable in the spotlight or simply be known as an extrovert. however, this world should not overlook introverts who are actually not the minority of our population. while people are spinning around for the highest position or the center of attention, introverts observe and develop the most in-depth perspectives about the world in their own quiet and calm environments. the definition of introvert itself is way more complex and powerful than what we think. my experience as a boarding student in the US not only helped me discover that I am an introvert but also helped me gain a deep appreciation for introversion.
one of the first times that helped me to realize i am an introvert is when I first arrived at my new school in the US. the new environment brought me a mixed feeling of excitement and nervousness. i thought it would be nice to meet new people and make friends with other international students but I was too shy to go out and start any conversation. for the first few days, i barely went out and always stayed in my room pretending to do my homework. completely opposite, my roommate, who was also a new student, is extremely active and outgoing. she quickly made a lot of friends and always spent time outside with new people. this somehow made me feel ashamed of myself and jealous of her confidence. after the first few days of school, i met more people, and thanks to group work and games in class, I got to interact and become friends with other students. living in the dorm and going to school every day has somehow “forced” me to be open with other people which makes me appear to be excited and optimistic outside but usually awkward and uncomfortable inside. i think that it is common for introverts to feel this way and focus too much on everything around them. i'm afraid that other people will misunderstand or judge me for my language, behavior, or appearance. even when i interact in this new environment, i do not usually hang out with a lot of friends. this is not because I do not like them. they are nice, but i just do not feel like i need to be surrounded by people to be happy. this realization gives me a sense of how introverts do not depend on other people to seek joy or happiness.
moreover, my experience at this school also helped me broaden my horizon about the concept of introversion which people usually misunderstand. the word introvert is commonly used to refer to someone as shy, passive, anti-social, and often viewed in a negative way. being an introvert is not the same as social anxiety or mental illness. as an introvert, i’m still able to hang out with friends, talk to people, go to parties, do crazy things, and live a happy life, as other introverts do. being introverted is just a personality trait in which people prefer quiet spaces on their own rather than with the bustling atmosphere with people around them. even when i’m with my friends, i still find myself ensconced in my own space. sometimes, i force myself to talk or act excitedly or enthusiastically in a conversation. i hardly ever contribute in a discussion of more than three people, but when i stay silent, it does not mean I do not care. this is just because i do not feel comfortable or i cannot find a space to react or express myself in front of a group of people. the problem that introverts including myself is that during a conversation, we tend to overthink what we want to say, and by the time we are ready to contribute, the topic has already moved on. so i am aware that people might think i’m abnormal, but this is because introverts have too many things in their mind which cannot be expressed. the older i am, the more i understand about myself as well as people and how they act in certain ways.
being an introvert in this extroverted world is tough, but it is not a disadvantage. i rarely share feelings, especially challenges in life, with other people, including my family and close friends. this makes me become more independent and mature in which i always try my best to figure things out on my own and am able to overcome any hardships in life. furthermore, during the Covid-19 pandemic, i did not and continue not to have any problem with social distancing and quarantine. i feel fine to be locked indoors, and i enjoy my private space. the recognition of myself as an introvert allows me to have a broader sense of the world and become sympathetic to other introverted people. my favorite quote of all time that i find extraordinarily inspiring is "Quiet people have the loudest minds" - Stephen Hawking. everyone has their own source of energy. for introverts, this is different and is hidden deep inside their body.
transferring to a new environment as a teenager has made me recognize myself as an introvert and appreciate it. my experience in a new environment, especially through the boarding community where I live with people from different backgrounds, has helped me be more socially conscious about other people's behaviors. although being introverted might not be as preferred as being extroverted in terms of interactions or communications, introverts are the most powerful critical thinkers who always have the most effective decisions and extraordinary ideas. introverts do not show off all their power and energy as extroverts do because of our personality traits and that is the best way for us to be ourselves.