be an international student? meaning i have to move to study abroad? meaning i can’t see my friends and family? meaning i have to make new friends? well, something with which i myself often struggling is making new friends. i believe not only international students but also domestic students might find this challenging.
that mixed feeling of excitement and nervousness came to me when i first moved to my new school. by the way, i don’t have any relatives who can take care of me so i applied for the boarding program which means that i get to stay in the dorm with students from many different backgrounds. we usually use the term “boarder” to refer to students who live in the dorm. since i’m a boarder, i went straight to the dorm to check out my room. my roommate was there already, and wow she looked so freaking adorable. she waved at me and told me that she’s my roommate with excitement on her face. i replied to her by saying oh hey long time no see (though we didn’t know each other). fortunately, my bad joke was a good kick-off, so we laughed. this somehow made me feel a lot better. after chit-chatting for a while, we went to the main hall for dinner and here, we met a few more boarders and staff. surprisingly, they were super outgoing and helpful, so it didn’t take us too long to mingle with our new “big family.” i call these people my big family because they gave me a warm feeling as if they were my parents or siblings. we live together in a big house, have similar schedules, eat the same food, share feelings with each other…as if we were at home.
to be honest, i’m quite an introvert. i’m not good at starting a conversation with new people or making new friends. therefore, moving to a new environment is one of the greatest fears in my life besides ghost and school stuff. my only hope before moving to the US was to be able to make friends. and i finally did it after a while. although i only hung out with my roommate at first, after the first few days of school, i met more people, and thanks to group work and games in class, i got to interact and become friends with other students.
for those of you who are still afraid of making new friends, yes, you might feel left out, you might feel awkward or even freak out at first. so did i. but believe me, friendships can come from various innocuous things, like asking your friends their whatsapp, snapchat, instagram, tik tok… or even talking about how horrible your siblings are. i’ve used these methods already; they actually work! most of the time, people will be open to making new friends (at least most of my friends and i are). If i see any new student that is left out, my friends and i go to meet with them. i personally feel more confident in being able to make new friends when i’m with my (group of) friends and together we love helping new people feel included in a new environment. therefore, as a newcomer, just don’t worry about being left out because you are amazing just the way you are and people will love to get to know you :)
that’s not all! another important thing to remember is staying in touch with your old friends. this process, to me, is very simple. i know this might sound weird to some of you but one way i used to keep up with my old friends is by commenting on their posts or replying to their stories on social media. your friends will miss you in the same way you miss them, so don’t hesitate to text them or call them and tell them about your new environment, new friends, and new life. i’m pretty sure that they would love to hear anything from you. personally, whenever i reach out to my old friends, they seem very excited and glad to hear updates from me in much the same way that i would feel when my old friends contact me. of course, you don’t have to be in touch with all of your friends on a daily or weekly basis because who on earth has time to do that. thus, i recommend you to check-in with your friends maybe once or twice a month to make sure that you are not faded in their memories :3